I'm dying on the inside, like a slow cancer that is irreversible. You can only fight it for so long, it will act like it has gone away. Then suddenly out of thin air it's back, and worse then ever. They say Heroine users etc... When they quit doing those hard drugs, and go clean. They instead of having a tolerance to that drug. They get a negative tolerance so when they use that drug again, its worse then someone just starting there first time. Thats why you hear of people relapsing, overdosing, and dying. Well that's how my heart feels about that girl. I get a tolerance of her. I quit. I come back, and get hurt worse. I'm dying on the inside. I can't make this feeling go away. Theres no pill in the world that could permanently do what i need. No drug, no drink, no person. Maybe god, but that's not likely cause i must be ment for this pain, right? He will never give you a trial you cannot handle. Well this trial stinks. I'm dying inside, and nobody can help me.
Blocking, deleting, ignoring....oh the police.
If you don't want to speak to someone just tell them, and stick with it. How mature are we? If you don't like them, don't talk to them. If they bug you, let them know. If your ignoring them. Tell them why, and stick with it. I'm sick of all these immature people out there blocking people, deleting them, ignoring them, even calling the cops on them for the lamest things. What ever happened to calling someone up, and saying hey "leave me the *#($*#& alone?" but in a nice, respectful mature way? If someone took offense, then the offended needs to let the other know. Once upon a time a policeman would watch a fight til someone hit the ground then send them home. Now they pepper spray you, taze you a little, call the drug dog, blood test you, send you to a psychiatrist, then tell your parents. Am i exaggerating? Ha maybe if i lived 10 years ago.
This world is coming to an end.
The weather won't be consistent. It's may and the sun can't decide if its going to shine, it gets cold, hot, cold, ok, hot. The last days are near, and i think we all know it. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that the weather isn't being consistent anymore. 5 years ago it would be 90 degrees right now. 3 years ago 75. 1 year ago 65. Now like 55 ish. When the end is near, you won't be able to tell what season it is. I couldn't tell you what season it is right now.
Protect your heart, but get a taste of the battle. Just don't waste it.
If you love someone tell them. If you are a girl, and think you shouldn't tell them your feelings. Screw that idea, and tell them how you feel. Guys can get swept off there feet too. I wish i had a girl come up to me, or call me, or text me, and spill her undying feelings for me. I would be the happiest kid in the world. I would probably feel what it was like to be in a womens shoes. No homo haha. Seriously though, if you think he's pushing you away on purpose, ask him why, and fix it. "He's" not always the man you wish he was. No man is that perfect, only french men are close to lady killers. So stop look at whats going on, do you see a pattern, a behavior that isn't normal? Is it fixable? Yes. Everything is and everything will be.
Player?
Or just scared of something so great that there afraid of losing it?
Player's eventually lose. There is no one that has never lost anything in there life. If you are reading this, and you think your the shiz cause your playing 5 girls, or 5 boys. Whoever you may be. I hate to break it to you, but your going to lose. Your no Hughe Heffner, or a Victoria Secret model. You are a PLAYER, and players ALWAYS lose. Don't take your chances. pick the dice with the same number on it, 1, not the one with 6 different risks, outcomes. Whatever it may be.
You would never set your heart on a table, put 5 bullets in your 6 shooter. Spin the revolver, and point it at your heart, and shoot hoping its the empty slot. The point is you would never pull someone elses heart out, and do as i just said. So don't play that game. It's not even a game. It's a deadly trait. Yes, it's a trait. A skill. It's anti.
Garrett Thompson Vanished Records
