"garrett, you make me happy"
Coming from a pretty much complete stranger can suprise anyone. At that point in life you know you did something right. You know that its not all about you. Its about everyone else. Don't get me wrong. I care a lot about myself, but i know life is about everyone else. I know that I have had hundreds of experiences that would suprise anyone. Hundreds that you couldn't get, will say, living the "right way," but do i regret any of them? In a realistic stand point, NO! That would be stupid to regret them. No one regrets anything, they just do not like the consequences, which 99% of the time. Suck. If i never lived thru any of these experiences where would i be at right now? I don't know the answer to that, frankly i don't think anyone does. Would i be in school? Would i be in Europe? Would i be in the same spot i am now just a whole different plot to my story? Who knows.
You'll notice everything i write may not all flow together or even make sense to you. That is cause i am not backspacing i am just letting my thoughts flow freely out of my finger tips.
I could write for hours on end ranging from how i had a dream about lil wayne as a 17 year old, or how i'm listening to a Mashup artist named "GirlTalk" right now, and writing this "deep" blog at the same time. How does that work? How can you be writing your deep thoughts while your listening to club mashup songs that are definitely not depressing songs and definitely not slow. Maybe these words are not so deep because of it, or there just my thoughts as of right now.
"Nice Guys Finish Last." No your just ment for someone or something else more important then her...i'll stop right there and write something else.
Has your heart ever dropped into your quick to hit you, but slow burning stomach acid? I'm sure that feeling needs no explaining. I get that feeling every night, and i hate that feeling with a passion. Its that feeling you get when you hear someone you cared about has passed away, when you get cheated on by that special girl... The list goes on and on. As those happen to you more and more it seems it takes less to set off this feeling, as small as a text. As small as to make your heart start pounding out of your chest for nothing. Just a stupid word, in a stupid text. Some stupid letters that were put together, which in the end, hurt your feelings.
"Man it feels like these walls are closing in, this roof is cavin' in" -Eminem- The keyword there "feels" everything "feels" like its coming to an end. Everything "feels" like it: sucks, hurts, feels good, makes you happy, its right, its wrong---- So why not just turn off your feelings, its possible. People just don't realize the power they have in them to control what they feel and how they feel it. I can be so cold i have goose bumps all over my body, and then tell myself its not cold outside, and the goose bumps do not go away but suddenly i'm not shivering, and its doesn't "feel" cold. Explain that. I control me in, and out.
Your thinking "thats B.S. this kid can't stop himself from feeling cold what an idiot, i'm not reading this anymore!" Well believe it. You can too. Why else would you be able to EVENTUALLY get over your high school sweetheart? If you weren't in control of yourself there would be no getting over anything. Its just when you choose to control your feelings towards something.
She can go with him if she wants, but she's not going to be seeing me.
I'm going to put my random thoughts in there own sentences. No i didn't stop writing a paragraph, there just random thoughts. That thought is how i feel about that. You can decide am i going to chase this girl, am i going to fight for her, or am i going to say its simple "She can go with him if she wants, but she's not going to be seeing me." Thats simple. I like that. I may not agree with it myself in a way, but its simple. I like simple.
Try to hurt my feelings, i'm numb. Jokes on you. I may not come out on top, but i'll be looking up, and i can still throw a rock that high. It will hurt, trust me.
Take that how you want. I have no words for that subject. I just said it.
My day just got brighter, yet it is the night, a time for relaxing, bonding, sleep, and my favorite,... dreams. Write your conflicting thoughts out, take a lighter, burn them, you WILL feel better.
-G Brady signing off.
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